my ideal life

For the longest time I thought I came up with this by myself but now that I look back on it, I might have stolen the idea from “The Catcher in the Rye.” I have to say that I am a bit of a romantic, and I dream of finding the girl who I will fall madly in love with like an intoxicated poet. I want to find the type of girl you only read about in books. I toyed around with the idea of putting a personal add in the news paper but I doubt I would find my dream girl. First off she would have to be a deaf mute with obsessive compulsive disorder to bake. She would have to be smarter then myself, and have a rocking body. I would marry her right away then we would go off and live in the most isolated part of catalina island where I would build us our shelter and grow our own food and we would have a marry little life of great conversation mostly consisting of myself talking due to the fact that I never learned sign language, its not due because I couldn’t or didn’t want to, I just cant find a reason to do so. And after several years I would write my great novel that would be mocked and ridiculed by everyone only to become a classic once my wife and dog go forward with there plot to murder me. After I go uterly mad and become more detached from reality after the world has mocked my brilliance, I would have two children with my wife. A boy and a girl. I would raise them the same way that John Stuart Mills’ father raised him. Both of them will be brilliant and I will teach them to be terrified of marshmallow peeps from an early age with the help of association. Every time I show them a peep I will flicker the lights on and off and have them drenched in ice cold water while I play "I'd Do Anything for Love" by Meat Loaf in the background just for shits and giggles.

-mouse